Broduce 98: The Clusterfuck Begins

I meant to cover Broduce 98 from ep 1 but as I said in the VIXX post, I’m a pretentious academic in real life, and Broduce had the misfortune of airing when pretentious academia prevented me from covering it, so I finally got to marathon everything once I had free time so this will be my massive ep 1-5 recap/review.

dumpster fire

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U-KISS Channel Christian Grey in “Stalker”

Click to destroy your wifi and let kiseop eat your soul

ETA: Since apparently you assholes are angrier that I neglected to realize this is supposed to be the most poorly-executed vampire concept since Twilight than you are over anything else in this MV, I’ma get this shit over with: I don’t care. A theoretical vampire concept does not negate the criticism of this MV any more than Twilight being a vampire series does not negate the criticism of Edward and Bella’s relationship. Edward doesn’t stalk Bella because he’s a vampire, he stalks her because he’s a creep. I mean, I could’ve made the same boring Twilight jokes people have been making since 2005, but I went with 50 Shades of Grey as it is less old meme and, being a Twilight fanfic, has preserved the most problematic aspects of the Edward/Bella romance, which is the whole issue with this MV and song to start with. Oh, and by the way–none of those elements have anything to do with vampirism. I would think that the ability of an all-human AU like 50SoG to preserve those elements would make that clear, but that’s clearly too much critical thinking to expect out of stans. So you can keep making excuses or you can shut the fuck up, but if you’re going to do the former, do it somewhere other than my blog.

So now that that bullshit is out of the way, let’s talk about why this MV is getting backlash from iFans. The romanticizing of violence against women is a disturbing trend in K-pop music videos, and it’s in stark relief here. I’m kind of pissed U-KISS delivered this shit after being gone over a year, because kissmes, all 3 or so of us, have been starved for material to mock/bop/fap to, as there isn’t much else out there for us now that the few boy groups still doing this sort of sound and aesthetic are either done and dusted or making shitty ass music like the rest of these neon clown puke assholes. So now I gotta make with the cognitive dissonance and acknowledge that “Stalker” is a ~*problematic fave*~, because as long as you overlook the lyrics and concept, it’s a bop. Musically and aesthetically, U-KISS are back and in fine form.

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MV Recap: AoA Cream’s “I’m Jelly Baby” is sugary perfection

aoacreamjellybaby1-5

FNC recently debuted subunit AoA Cream to supposedly highlight the less popular members. Since AoA Black has the band concept, fans were wondering what AoA Cream was going to do. Teasers indicated a cute concept along the lines of Orange Caramel or Rainbow Pixie, though the former leans toward satirical while the latter, in their one release “Hoi Hoi,” played it straight. Turns out AoA Cream went with the latter approach, which is actually a smart move on their part given that copycat accusations are the last thing they need (not that that stops netizens). A conventional cute music video directs more attention to the song rather than the MV (unlike Stellar, whose controversial MVs detract from their songs, which is unfortunate since their songs are so good). Given that AoA relies on its members more than its sound/image to set itself apart—Jimin’s chipmunk voice (as much as fans like to complain about it, you can’t say it isn’t unique), Choa’s vocals, Seolhyun’s media play—without the standout members, going with a stylistically different non-Brave Bros track was AoA Cream’s best bet.

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It’s a Recap Two-Fer: U-KISS – “Quit Playing” and VIXX – “Eternity”

I fear there are too many music videos full of pretty boys coming out lately, and I am unable give them each the full recap treatment in a timely manner. It’s unfortunate. So I’m going to so a special two-fer tonight. Double the recap, double the pretty boys!

titles

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White Artists Doing Asian Pop: Racist or Not?

So lately the blogosphere has lit up with talk of white pop artists trying their hand at Asian pop music. In particular, I’m going to talk about these two:

mess

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Review: VIXX: “Voodoo Doll” or “Torture Porn”

vdoll

VIXX have done it again. I thought they might’ve peaked with “Hyde,” but they’re back with “Voodoo Doll” and despite its awkward title, it is fucking awesome. Continue reading “Review: VIXX: “Voodoo Doll” or “Torture Porn””

Review: U-KISS “She’s Mine” or “Phallic Symbols, Not-Gays, and WTF”

shesmine

I’m starting to believe NHM are U-KISS’s biggest antis.

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