Vixx is back, Ahjummas Anon Lives!

Hey, at least I didn’t title the post “VIXX Get Their Balls Out”

Yes, I know it’s been a while. But in real life, I am a pretentious academic, and pretentious academics have shit to do. Well, lucky for you, I’m on a break, which means I have time to post an academic analysis of VIXX’s latest opus, Shangri-La.

Continue reading “Vixx is back, Ahjummas Anon Lives!”

Best K-pop songs with repetitive/nonsensical refrains

This post is inspired by a convo I had with a friend on twitter about a song that sounded like its only lyrics were “yeah boy” over and over.

WARNING: a shitload of youtube embeds under the cut

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MV Recap: AoA Cream’s “I’m Jelly Baby” is sugary perfection

aoacreamjellybaby1-5

FNC recently debuted subunit AoA Cream to supposedly highlight the less popular members. Since AoA Black has the band concept, fans were wondering what AoA Cream was going to do. Teasers indicated a cute concept along the lines of Orange Caramel or Rainbow Pixie, though the former leans toward satirical while the latter, in their one release “Hoi Hoi,” played it straight. Turns out AoA Cream went with the latter approach, which is actually a smart move on their part given that copycat accusations are the last thing they need (not that that stops netizens). A conventional cute music video directs more attention to the song rather than the MV (unlike Stellar, whose controversial MVs detract from their songs, which is unfortunate since their songs are so good). Given that AoA relies on its members more than its sound/image to set itself apart—Jimin’s chipmunk voice (as much as fans like to complain about it, you can’t say it isn’t unique), Choa’s vocals, Seolhyun’s media play—without the standout members, going with a stylistically different non-Brave Bros track was AoA Cream’s best bet.

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“I Can’t Believe It’s Not Exploitation!” or the problem of Stellar

ETA: This post was written before the release of the “Sting” music video, but having viewed the video, my impressions here remain largely unchanged.

73357_600Few K-pop groups—particularly rookie groups—have received as polarized of a fandom reaction as Stellar. The group has courted scandal since “Marionette,” which featured “click to reveal more” teasers and a music video with a sexy concept exaggerated almost to the point of farce. Many ifans saw it as a company’s desperate bid for attention for their sinking group, and if it was, it worked. The video gained 2 million views in a week, and the group received more media coverage than they ever had. Their company, Entertainment Pascal, tried riding the wave of controversy by framing Stellar’s next comeback, the comparatively tame “Fool,” as a clapback to the slut-shaming they endured from fans over “Marionette.” “Fool” tanked, and with “Vibrato” and now “Sting” (previously reported as “Stabbed”; make of that what you will) it seems the company is back to their old tricks.

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This gayo. This fucking gayo.

This post is dedicated to Jenny Trout, even though she probably does not care about K-pop. The title was just too perfect of an opportunity for a pun and a reference to her glorious Fifty Shades of Grey recaps.

SBS’s 2015 gayo daejun is four hours of mind-numbing sound and fury, signifying nothing, except perhaps how much I hate myself. Even if you don’t hate yourself, this gayo will drain the the will to live right out of you.

Continue reading “This gayo. This fucking gayo.”

Ahjummas Anonymous’s Hot 100 2015: Women

You’ve already seen the men, now it’s time for the women!

hot1002015

Copy-pasted from the men’s post:

READ THIS PART BEFORE GETTING BUTTHURT PLEASE. The last time I tried this I did alphabetical order, but then people couldn’t read and got butthurt over the order, so I’m going to attempt to rank this time so if people are gonna get butthurt they’ll at least be accurate about it. I spent a good long time and did a lot of soul-searching when creating this list, so if you’re mad I didn’t include your fave, well, I also left off some of my own faves too. Even with 50 spaces there just wasn’t enough room to include everyone. Some idols I find attractive were also left off because of inactivity, and since this is a 2015 list, it would be disingenuous to include someone last seen in 2012. Google image searching 50 women and picking an HQ photo for each takes longer than you think. Finally, this highly objective and impartial post is still largely predicated on my own personal tastes. Having read all this, if you’re going to leave a butthurt comment, please preface said butthurt with “Dear fangirl proctologist,” so I at least know it’s informed butthurt.

Finally, there will be no underaged idols on this list so if your favorite fetus isn’t here, that’s why.

Obviously, this post is extremely image heavy. I don’t own any of these images.

Enjoy!

Continue reading “Ahjummas Anonymous’s Hot 100 2015: Women”

Ahjummas Anonymous’s Hot 100 2015: Men

It’s that time again! Time for Ahjummas Anonymous’s highly objective and impartial list:

hot1002015

Because there really aren’t that many K-pop idols to rank, rather than open the list up to non-Korean celebs (seeing as this is a K-pop blog) I’ve decided to instead split the Hot 100 into two groups–50 men and 50 women.

READ THIS PART BEFORE GETTING BUTTHURT PLEASE. The last time I tried this I did alphabetical order, but then people couldn’t read and got butthurt over the order, so I’m going to attempt to rank this time so if people are gonna get butthurt they’ll at least be accurate about it. I spent a good long time and did a lot of soul-searching when creating this list, so if you’re mad I didn’t include your fave, well, I also left off some of my own faves too. Even with 50 spaces there just wasn’t enough room to include everyone. Some idols I find attractive were also left off because of inactivity, and since this is a 2015 list, it would be disingenuous to include someone who was last seen in 2012. Google image searching 50 guys and picking an HQ photo for each takes longer than you think. Finally, if you know me, you know I have some fucked-up taste in men, and this highly objective and impartial post is still largely predicated on my own personal tastes. Having read all this, if you’re going to leave a butthurt comment, please preface said butthurt with “Dear fangirl proctologist,” so I at least know it’s informed butthurt.

Finally, there will be no underaged idols on this list so if your favorite fetus isn’t here, that’s why.

Obviously, this post is extremely image heavy. I don’t own any of these images.

Enjoy!

Continue reading “Ahjummas Anonymous’s Hot 100 2015: Men”