U-KISS Channel Christian Grey in “Stalker”

Click to destroy your wifi and let kiseop eat your soul

ETA: Since apparently you assholes are angrier that I neglected to realize this is supposed to be the most poorly-executed vampire concept since Twilight than you are over anything else in this MV, I’ma get this shit over with: I don’t care. A theoretical vampire concept does not negate the criticism of this MV any more than Twilight being a vampire series does not negate the criticism of Edward and Bella’s relationship. Edward doesn’t stalk Bella because he’s a vampire, he stalks her because he’s a creep. I mean, I could’ve made the same boring Twilight jokes people have been making since 2005, but I went with 50 Shades of Grey as it is less old meme and, being a Twilight fanfic, has preserved the most problematic aspects of the Edward/Bella romance, which is the whole issue with this MV and song to start with. Oh, and by the way–none of those elements have anything to do with vampirism. I would think that the ability of an all-human AU like 50SoG to preserve those elements would make that clear, but that’s clearly too much critical thinking to expect out of stans. So you can keep making excuses or you can shut the fuck up, but if you’re going to do the former, do it somewhere other than my blog.

So now that that bullshit is out of the way, let’s talk about why this MV is getting backlash from iFans. The romanticizing of violence against women is a disturbing trend in K-pop music videos, and it’s in stark relief here. I’m kind of pissed U-KISS delivered this shit after being gone over a year, because kissmes, all 3 or so of us, have been starved for material to mock/bop/fap to, as there isn’t much else out there for us now that the few boy groups still doing this sort of sound and aesthetic are either done and dusted or making shitty ass music like the rest of these neon clown puke assholes. So now I gotta make with the cognitive dissonance and acknowledge that “Stalker” is a ~*problematic fave*~, because as long as you overlook the lyrics and concept, it’s a bop. Musically and aesthetically, U-KISS are back and in fine form.

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Ahjummas Anonymous’s Hot 100 2015: Men

It’s that time again! Time for Ahjummas Anonymous’s highly objective and impartial list:

hot1002015

Because there really aren’t that many K-pop idols to rank, rather than open the list up to non-Korean celebs (seeing as this is a K-pop blog) I’ve decided to instead split the Hot 100 into two groups–50 men and 50 women.

READ THIS PART BEFORE GETTING BUTTHURT PLEASE. The last time I tried this I did alphabetical order, but then people couldn’t read and got butthurt over the order, so I’m going to attempt to rank this time so if people are gonna get butthurt they’ll at least be accurate about it. I spent a good long time and did a lot of soul-searching when creating this list, so if you’re mad I didn’t include your fave, well, I also left off some of my own faves too. Even with 50 spaces there just wasn’t enough room to include everyone. Some idols I find attractive were also left off because of inactivity, and since this is a 2015 list, it would be disingenuous to include someone who was last seen in 2012. Google image searching 50 guys and picking an HQ photo for each takes longer than you think. Finally, if you know me, you know I have some fucked-up taste in men, and this highly objective and impartial post is still largely predicated on my own personal tastes. Having read all this, if you’re going to leave a butthurt comment, please preface said butthurt with “Dear fangirl proctologist,” so I at least know it’s informed butthurt.

Finally, there will be no underaged idols on this list so if your favorite fetus isn’t here, that’s why.

Obviously, this post is extremely image heavy. I don’t own any of these images.

Enjoy!

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U-KISS just don’t give a shit anymore and i am LIVING

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So recently, former U-KISS member Dongho abruptly announced his marriage and his wife’s possible pregnancy in a move that shocked many former U-KISS fans. Not to be outdone, Eli took to instagram like “Y’all think Dongho got married first? Well, I got that little shit beat! I’ve had a girlfriend for 5 years and we’re married and she’s pregnant, suck on that!” I’ve yet to see how K-fans are reacting, though I-fans on omonatheydidnt seem mostly amused and perplexed. K-fans probably won’t care since they’ve specialized in ignoring U-KISS in the face of extreme bops like “Neverland” and “Stop Girl” and are too busy fapping over the latest aural bowel movements from more popular artists instead; J-fans are probably scoffing at how lightweight this scandal is compared to their usual fare. Since Japan seems to be the market U-KISS is concentrating on (which makes sense, since unlike SK they’re moderately successful there), I predict this news shall pass without much fanfare.

On Ahjummas Anonymous, however, we’re celebrating. Congrats to the happy couple, may they have beautiful pigeon offspring!

2014 in Review: The Good, the Bad, and the Meh

2014 was quite the roller coaster year in K-pop. Here, I present Ahjummas Anon’s year in review.

2014

You may wonder why some popular or chart-dominating songs are curiously absent from my top picks. The only reason I can give is that my choices are completely and 100% subjective, based purely on my own opinions. Does that make this post biased? Hell yeah, it does. I’m not even trying to front like it isn’t. I am not claiming to represent anyone else’s opinions but my own. I did solicit suggestions from friends and twitter followers, but all of my commentary is my own honest opinion. Obviously, as with any opinion piece, you’re welcome to disagree, but popularity or chart position was never a factor in any of my picks. If it’s a popularity contest you seek, I suggest fan-voted year-end lists instead.

I am linking, not embedding youtube videos since the embeds will significantly slow the loading of this page.

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Sexy Is As Sexy Does Part 2: U-KISS Bugaloo

A few days ago, I recapped U-KISS’s latest music video for “Quit Playing.” At the time the recap was written, the video had just been released and there wasn’t much time to gauge fan reaction (the iFan spaces I haunt generally responded positively, although, as I mentioned in the recap, some were bothered by the sexist implications of the narrative, a concern that is not unfounded). Apparently, there’s been a bit of blowback among Kissmes (since I heard this information secondhand via a post on omonatheydidnt, I am uncertain if it is from kFans or iFans). Apparently, some fans expressed discomfort with the adult nature of the video. Presumably as a result, Kevin posted a tweet apologizing to the fans who were offended and going to great lengths to distance himself from the concept and make it known that he disagrees with it and would not have chosen it personally. And this was my general response to the tweet:

bridesmaids

I haven’t yet spoken about this topic here, but have in other places, and am taking a lot of heat for my stance. So I’m writing out this post in an attempt to clarify my reasoning and elucidate my meaning.

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It’s a Recap Two-Fer: U-KISS – “Quit Playing” and VIXX – “Eternity”

I fear there are too many music videos full of pretty boys coming out lately, and I am unable give them each the full recap treatment in a timely manner. It’s unfortunate. So I’m going to so a special two-fer tonight. Double the recap, double the pretty boys!

titles

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Review: U-KISS “She’s Mine” or “Phallic Symbols, Not-Gays, and WTF”

shesmine

I’m starting to believe NHM are U-KISS’s biggest antis.

Continue reading “Review: U-KISS “She’s Mine” or “Phallic Symbols, Not-Gays, and WTF””