Now that we’ve recapped 2015’s most memorable moments, for better or worse, it’s time to look ahead to 2016. Here’s a list of Ahummas Anonymous’s wishes for the new year, however impossible they may seem (hey, I said wishes, not predictions).
This post is dedicated to Jenny Trout, even though she probably does not care about K-pop. The title was just too perfect of an opportunity for a pun and a reference to her glorious Fifty Shades of Grey recaps.
SBS’s 2015 gayo daejun is four hours of mind-numbing sound and fury, signifying nothing, except perhaps how much I hate myself. Even if you don’t hate yourself, this gayo will drain the the will to live right out of you.
April 1st, 2015 – Ahjummas Anonymous has learned that Big Bang’s Seungri and 4Minute’s Hyuna have been cast in the upcoming Korean remake of Fifty Shades of Grey. The idols-turned-actors will play Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, respectively. The remake will closely follow the plot of the books penned by British author E.L. Fudge, about a 27-year old C.E.O. of a cookie company who enters a BDSM relationship with a 21-year-old college graduate with a dual degree in English literature and pastry confection. Famous for their kinky sex scenes, the books have come under fire by some critics for a lack of research and realism—specifically, that a college graduate with no experience would be put in charge of a major company’s cookie design department for no other reason than she’s boning the C.E.O. Other inaccuracies include improper cleanup after use of chocolate syrup in a sex scene and an inaccurate portrayal of the realities of working as a pastry chef. Nonetheless, the franchise continues to enjoy juggernaut success and shows no sign of slowing down any time soon.
Other names thrown into the casting ring include Seungri’s bandmate Taeyang and 2NE1’s Dara, who are in talks to play Christian’s brother Elliott and Anastasia’s roommate Kate.
The film is slated for release on Valentine’s Day 2017.
April 1st, 2015 – Ahjummas Anonymous has learned that a sex tape starring a man and woman believed to be VIXX’s N and Girl’s Day’s Sojin has leaked onto the internet. According to sources, the video began making the rounds on adult video websites in the early hours of March 31st, and quickly went viral. The video appears to have been filmed in a hotel room, with both parties taking turns holding the camera. Though there are few shots of their faces and none of them very clear, netizens have positively identified the couple based on voices, body types, and other evidence. “That’s totally N. I’d recognize dat ass [sic] anywhere,” writes one international netizen. “Sojin has the same hair and nail art, it’s totally her,” writes another, linking a recent photo from Sojin’s instagram along with corroborating screen captures from the video. Some netizens observed that the man in the video wears the same rings N did at a recent appearance and has the same hairstyle and color, and matches a physical description given by N’s costars on the show “First Day at Work.” Others observed that the woman in the video wears the same brand of lingerie sold at the store where N filmed “First Day at Work.” Most of these observations are accompanied by corroborating photos and screen captures, although some threads seem to have devolved into commenters simply posting photographic evidence of N’s “bulge.”
But not all netizens are convinced of the identities of the video’s stars. “Isn’t Sojin dating Exo D.O.?” one writes, referring to earlier dating rumors between the two. This comment received a handful of replies refuting this assumption, including one that contained a youtube url leading to Beyoncé’s “Upgrade U” music video.
Sources have been unable to track the source of the leak as of yet.
DreamTea and Jellyfish Entertainment could not be reached for comment, but the video is quickly disappearing from websites.
UPDATE: Sources have uncovered evidence that the sex tape was first leaked on an Exo sasaeng forum. Apparently, the hackers were sasaengs in search of evidence of the rumored Sojin/D.O relationship, and were able to hack her iCloud. They posted their findings to the forum despite finding no evidence of said relationship, declaring their act as “retribution” for Sojin’s involvement in the D.O dating rumors, although available evidence suggests the rumors originated with netizens and not with Sojin herself. The iCloud’s contents also included photos of N and Sojin together, possibly in the same hotel room where the sex tape was filmed, and “sexts” exchanged between the two over a period of several months. The forum post has since been deleted, but many screen captures are still circulating.
Still no word from either party’s company.
Ahjummas Anonymous neither supports nor refutes any of the netizen or sasaeng fan opinions expressed in the article.
Not sure if all y’all have been following Jennifer Armintrout’s sublime 50 Shades recaps, but if you’re not, then you really should. Her movie cast picks post is the inspiration for this one.
There have been many fancasts for the movie, but most have been so blindingly white it’s like a bleach convention up in here (although to be fair, that can also be blamed on E.L. James, whose only major character of color is a composite of lovely stereotypes). So I am here to remedy this grievous oversight. Ladies and gents, let me present my picks for 50 Shades of Grey: Asian Persuasion.
Hey guys, I recap K-pop music vids and stuff over at Lipstick Chicken. This will be my other K-pop blog, a more informal one. Here I will document my thrilling insights and observations as an international fan of Korean pop music (K-pop) over 30 years of age. Clearly I am well out of the genre’s target audience. Yeah, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, either.