U-KISS Channel Christian Grey in “Stalker”

Click to destroy your wifi and let kiseop eat your soul

ETA: Since apparently you assholes are angrier that I neglected to realize this is supposed to be the most poorly-executed vampire concept since Twilight than you are over anything else in this MV, I’ma get this shit over with: I don’t care. A theoretical vampire concept does not negate the criticism of this MV any more than Twilight being a vampire series does not negate the criticism of Edward and Bella’s relationship. Edward doesn’t stalk Bella because he’s a vampire, he stalks her because he’s a creep. I mean, I could’ve made the same boring Twilight jokes people have been making since 2005, but I went with 50 Shades of Grey as it is less old meme and, being a Twilight fanfic, has preserved the most problematic aspects of the Edward/Bella romance, which is the whole issue with this MV and song to start with. Oh, and by the way–none of those elements have anything to do with vampirism. I would think that the ability of an all-human AU like 50SoG to preserve those elements would make that clear, but that’s clearly too much critical thinking to expect out of stans. So you can keep making excuses or you can shut the fuck up, but if you’re going to do the former, do it somewhere other than my blog.

So now that that bullshit is out of the way, let’s talk about why this MV is getting backlash from iFans. The romanticizing of violence against women is a disturbing trend in K-pop music videos, and it’s in stark relief here. I’m kind of pissed U-KISS delivered this shit after being gone over a year, because kissmes, all 3 or so of us, have been starved for material to mock/bop/fap to, as there isn’t much else out there for us now that the few boy groups still doing this sort of sound and aesthetic are either done and dusted or making shitty ass music like the rest of these neon clown puke assholes. So now I gotta make with the cognitive dissonance and acknowledge that “Stalker” is a ~*problematic fave*~, because as long as you overlook the lyrics and concept, it’s a bop. Musically and aesthetically, U-KISS are back and in fine form.

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2014 in Review: The Good, the Bad, and the Meh

2014 was quite the roller coaster year in K-pop. Here, I present Ahjummas Anon’s year in review.


You may wonder why some popular or chart-dominating songs are curiously absent from my top picks. The only reason I can give is that my choices are completely and 100% subjective, based purely on my own opinions. Does that make this post biased? Hell yeah, it does. I’m not even trying to front like it isn’t. I am not claiming to represent anyone else’s opinions but my own. I did solicit suggestions from friends and twitter followers, but all of my commentary is my own honest opinion. Obviously, as with any opinion piece, you’re welcome to disagree, but popularity or chart position was never a factor in any of my picks. If it’s a popularity contest you seek, I suggest fan-voted year-end lists instead.

I am linking, not embedding youtube videos since the embeds will significantly slow the loading of this page.

Continue reading “2014 in Review: The Good, the Bad, and the Meh”

Review: VIXX: “Voodoo Doll” or “Torture Porn”


VIXX have done it again. I thought they might’ve peaked with “Hyde,” but they’re back with “Voodoo Doll” and despite its awkward title, it is fucking awesome. Continue reading “Review: VIXX: “Voodoo Doll” or “Torture Porn””

“G.O Belongs With Me” or Ailee’s “I Will Show You”-A Recap

Ailee first broke into the K-pop scene with “Heaven,” a power ballad that showed off her pipes. “Heaven” was a great song. “I Will Show You” … not so much.

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The Train to Special Hell Departs Now: A Review of NU’EST – “Action”

OK so y’all know how much I love NU’EST. Or maybe not because I haven’t talked about them yet here. But I love them. I think they are the first band I’ve followed since before debut. I’m a big fan of After School, so I kept hearing about these “Pledis Boys” and I think Minhyun showed up in an Orange Caramel or After School MV. They also appeared on the Happy Pledis Christmas song MV, and I noticed there was one who looked like G.O in MBLAQ which naturally piqued my interest. So I’d keep seeing articles about them and I’d be like “oh hey, it’s the band with Little G.O!” /cool story

I think it’s a testament to NU’EST that they are one of the few groups to break through my hype aversion. And by hype aversion, I mean my natural resistance to groups that are aggressively promoted before they actually debut. When groups release 134124324123 teasers and don’t seem like they’re ever going to actually debut, by the time they finally do debut, it’s even more anticlimactic than a night with Edward Cullen. I’m totally not talking about any bands in particular here. Not at all. In general it’s hard to get me to like anything heavily-hyped, because I’m the type of person who likes to gradually discover things on my own. I also find that when there’s that much hype, it’s pretty impossible to live up to. I generally don’t expect much from groups that debuted under the radar so I’ll be pleasantly surprised when they came out with something I like.  Whereas the other way around, I’ll be like “meh” and will have to warm up to them gradually or be dragged in kicking and screaming (the latter usually only happens when I have friends who are diehard fangirls/fanboys of the group, which totally did not happen with the group I wasn’t talking about before. Not at all).

I took to NU’EST more quickly than I expected, since Pledis did a really good job of setting them apart from other boy bands that debuted around the same time. And that’s important when you’ve got nugu bands popping up like bunnies on every music show. Their debut single “Face” could’ve easily fallen into the slushpile of theatrical, explosive debut songs full of sound and fury and signifying nothing, e.g. BAP, A-Jax, etc. Exo managed to stand out due to SME’s backing and Kris’s face (among others). NU’EST, coming from a smaller company, had to find other ways to distinguish themselves. One way was the subject of their song, bullying, which resonated with their target audience. They also had Ren, whose extreme beauty and androgyny made him the subject of buzz from the moment Pledis released his promo photo. And finally, there is the elusive “It” factor—that mysterious and inexplicable quality that draws people in.

Now NU’EST is back with “Action,” another aggressively catchy tune about an issue relevant to the interests of their target audience—individuality and sticking it to the man. Despite the surface similarities, though, it actually sounds quite distinct from “Face” without straying too far from the image NU’EST is known for (pretty Eurotrash noona bait).  The band upped the ante even further in this video, calling upon a futuristic aesthetic reminiscent of ‘90s Backstreet Boys and the dystopian genre so hot right now in cinema, television, and literature. It fits in nicely with the song’s lyrics, as most dystopian narratives focus upon that very theme.

So let’s get started, shall we? The train to special noona hell departs now. All aboard!

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The Virgin King of TMI returns: A mini-album review

I swear Alexander Lee Eusebio’s existence is the biggest mindfuck since the season finales of LOST. I can’t with this guy. A former U-KISS member, he is most known for his ridiculous hairstyles, devout Christianity, word vomiting all over twitter, and general insanity. He is one exceptional individual. Yet, fangirls (and probably some fanboys) all over the Internet still want to bone him. Go figure.

Oh, right.

I must confess to being a part of their ranks, but in my defense, crazy people can make great lays. Furthermore, the guy speaks seven languages (often all at the same time), so he clearly possesses exceptional oral sensitivity. Or maybe we’re all looking for one-way tickets to special hale. On his twitter, he has dubbed himself the Virgin King, yet proceeds to constantly bait fangirls with blatant innuendo. Harry Plinkett, if you are reading this, I think we have finally found a bigger galactic cocktease than Padmé Amidala. He is also quite fond of TMI, not that that puts off the fans. I wonder what the Virgin King of TMI thinks of his most popular tags over on last.fm: perfection, please let me lick you, marry me, xander, sexiest.

But as much fun as discussing him as a sexual object has been, I’m here to review his mini-album, “I Just.” The fact that it is named after a sentence fragment is really indicative of the effort put forth on its presentation. It is clear his company spared no expense. Check out some stills from the music video for “I Just” (courtesy of fuckyeahukiss on tumblr):

Continue reading “The Virgin King of TMI returns: A mini-album review”