Ahjummas Anon wishlist 2016

Now that we’ve recapped 2015’s most memorable moments, for better or worse, it’s time to look ahead to 2016. Here’s a list of Ahummas Anonymous’s wishes for the new year, however impossible they may seem (hey, I said wishes, not predictions).

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Posted in -B1A4, -EXO, -VIXX, Other | Tagged , , ,

This gayo. This fucking gayo.

This post is dedicated to Jenny Trout, even though she probably does not care about K-pop. The title was just too perfect of an opportunity for a pun and a reference to her glorious Fifty Shades of Grey recaps.

SBS’s 2015 gayo daejun is four hours of mind-numbing sound and fury, signifying nothing, except perhaps how much I hate myself. Even if you don’t hate yourself, this gayo will drain the the will to live right out of you.

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Ahjummas Anonymous’s Hot 100 2015: Women

You’ve already seen the men, now it’s time for the women!

hot1002015

Copy-pasted from the men’s post:

READ THIS PART BEFORE GETTING BUTTHURT PLEASE. The last time I tried this I did alphabetical order, but then people couldn’t read and got butthurt over the order, so I’m going to attempt to rank this time so if people are gonna get butthurt they’ll at least be accurate about it. I spent a good long time and did a lot of soul-searching when creating this list, so if you’re mad I didn’t include your fave, well, I also left off some of my own faves too. Even with 50 spaces there just wasn’t enough room to include everyone. Some idols I find attractive were also left off because of inactivity, and since this is a 2015 list, it would be disingenuous to include someone last seen in 2012. Google image searching 50 women and picking an HQ photo for each takes longer than you think. Finally, this highly objective and impartial post is still largely predicated on my own personal tastes. Having read all this, if you’re going to leave a butthurt comment, please preface said butthurt with “Dear fangirl proctologist,” so I at least know it’s informed butthurt.

Finally, there will be no underaged idols on this list so if your favorite fetus isn’t here, that’s why.

Obviously, this post is extremely image heavy. I don’t own any of these images.

Enjoy!

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Posted in -4minute, -Ailee, -Hyuna, List | Tagged , , , , ,

Ahjummas Anonymous’s Hot 100 2015: Men

It’s that time again! Time for Ahjummas Anonymous’s highly objective and impartial list:

hot1002015

Because there really aren’t that many K-pop idols to rank, rather than open the list up to non-Korean celebs (seeing as this is a K-pop blog) I’ve decided to instead split the Hot 100 into two groups–50 men and 50 women.

READ THIS PART BEFORE GETTING BUTTHURT PLEASE. The last time I tried this I did alphabetical order, but then people couldn’t read and got butthurt over the order, so I’m going to attempt to rank this time so if people are gonna get butthurt they’ll at least be accurate about it. I spent a good long time and did a lot of soul-searching when creating this list, so if you’re mad I didn’t include your fave, well, I also left off some of my own faves too. Even with 50 spaces there just wasn’t enough room to include everyone. Some idols I find attractive were also left off because of inactivity, and since this is a 2015 list, it would be disingenuous to include someone who was last seen in 2012. Google image searching 50 guys and picking an HQ photo for each takes longer than you think. Finally, if you know me, you know I have some fucked-up taste in men, and this highly objective and impartial post is still largely predicated on my own personal tastes. Having read all this, if you’re going to leave a butthurt comment, please preface said butthurt with “Dear fangirl proctologist,” so I at least know it’s informed butthurt.

Finally, there will be no underaged idols on this list so if your favorite fetus isn’t here, that’s why.

Obviously, this post is extremely image heavy. I don’t own any of these images.

Enjoy!

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Posted in -B1A4, -BIGSTAR, -EXO, -MBLAQ, -NU'EST, -Nugu, -U-KISS, -VIXX, List | Tagged , , , , , , ,

2015 in review

It’s that time again!

Time for…

In terms of sheer crazysauce, 2014 was a tough act to follow. In 2015, we didn’t see any prominent groups self-destruct in a mushroom cloud of wank, nor was there any massive scandal that took down a fan favorite. Musically, 2015 wasn’t the most exciting year, either. Though many high-profile groups had comebacks, they all seemed to play it safe; ironically, it was the rookie and mid-tier groups that brought the bops.

But you know, maybe it’s OK that 2015 was so low-key. We all needed a rest after 2014, and who knows–maybe it’s just the refractory period before 2016 comes out swinging.

On with the hits and misses of 2015. I’m going to link the music videos rather than embed them, since some of us have whack Internet or whack browsers or just hate pages full of fuckin’ embedded youtube videos that I open in a new tab anyway so I can fullscreen this shit because who really wants to watch videos on a 560x315px iframe?

This isn’t going to be ~*musical analysis*~ or anything like that because I really know fuck all about the music industry or making music; it’s just my personal opinions, and everyone should read my personal opinions.

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Posted in List, Review | 2 Comments

U-KISS just don’t give a shit anymore and i am LIVING

CVbCW_YWUAEOV4f

So recently, former U-KISS member Dongho abruptly announced his marriage and his wife’s possible pregnancy in a move that shocked many former U-KISS fans. Not to be outdone, Eli took to instagram like “Y’all think Dongho got married first? Well, I got that little shit beat! I’ve had a girlfriend for 5 years and we’re married and she’s pregnant, suck on that!” I’ve yet to see how K-fans are reacting, though I-fans on omonatheydidnt seem mostly amused and perplexed. K-fans probably won’t care since they’ve specialized in ignoring U-KISS in the face of extreme bops like “Neverland” and “Stop Girl” and are too busy fapping over the latest aural bowel movements from more popular artists instead; J-fans are probably scoffing at how lightweight this scandal is compared to their usual fare. Since Japan seems to be the market U-KISS is concentrating on (which makes sense, since unlike SK they’re moderately successful there), I predict this news shall pass without much fanfare.

On Ahjummas Anonymous, however, we’re celebrating. Congrats to the happy couple, may they have beautiful pigeon offspring!

Posted in -U-KISS, Misc | Tagged , ,

VIXX serves up VIXX lite in “Chained Up”

빅스(VIXX) - 사슬 (Chained up) Official M-V-2

I’ve been gone for a while, I know. It is really time I dusted off this blog, and wouldn’t you know that the thing to root me out of my seclusion would be a VIXX comeback?

Sadly, it isn’t the one I was hoping for.

This is not to say “Chained Up” is bad. But it doesn’t live up to the extremely high bar that VIXX have set for themselves. If anything, “Chained Up” reminds me of the kind of a song a rookie group would put out and get moderate amounts of attention for as it demonstrates basic competence in not sucking, but VIXX are past this by now. “Error” was just so flawless on every possible level that my wig is being retroactively snatched by it as I type. As you can see by my recaps of “Hyde” and “Voodoo Doll,” I’ve got nothing but lavish praise and perversion for VIXX. “Chained Up” just feels like a giant step backwards.

But I’ll get to that later. First, let’s recap this MV.

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